Loneliness in two is even worse than loneliness as one.
Loneliness is not a victory over others, but a personal shipwreck. (O.Paler)
I don’t know for whom I write, but I know why I write. I write to justify myself. For whom eyes? I told you already, but I face the ridicule and I say it one more time: for the eyes of the child that once I’ve been. (O.Paler)
You don’t love a woman because is beautiful, she is beautiful because you love her.
Remember that sometime not getting what you want is an incredible luck. (Dalai Lama)
We can live without religion or meditation, but we cannot live without affection. (Dalai Lama)
I want to know God’s thoughts; everything else is just another detail. (Einstein)
Reality is only an illusion, but a very persistent one. (Einstein)
And a final one. Do not believe in miracles, rely on them.
‘’I’ve always been shy. Even coward at the times. But this has nothing to do with the story that’s follow. I never wanted to be special. At one point, age 14, I discovered something that made me unique. I was about to lose myself, but I learn how to hide it, and to not give anyone even the slightest inkling of what I can do. I discovered this by chance, when Zenga, my puppy, stepped in a shard of glass. I grabbed his paw, I wiped the wound and I watch it closing, healing it completely. Back then, I used my ability many times, both on plants and pets, when they had some problems. Never on people. I was afraid on their opinion. On what they might say. I didn’t want them to consider that I’m a freak. I didn’t want to be in the spotlight.
That night, however, my intuition gave me no peace. I felt that it was my last chance. We grow together like siblings, from as long I remember. We learn to talk in the same time. We sit near each other in the same bank at school, from first grade until the last year of college. Everyone that knew us was thinking that she is my little sister. Somehow, I understand that at some level she always knew. I couldn’t take this back. In the end, this proved to be the right choice. I was ready to leave next day. She would never forgive me if I wouldn’t come over to say goodbye.
One year ago I felt that my extraordinary ability was almost gone. I was just 18. I don’t know how this happen. One day just cease to exist. Completely. I was getting used with my new condition. Even if at the beginning was very hard for me. But let’s go back to the evening in question. I’ve seen him a little worn out. ‘’Tomorrow I’ll leave!’’ he told me. I realized that what I felt before it was been confirmed. ‘’I’ve won a scholarship, I’m going to America and I’m not thinking to come back. Ever.’’ I feel it hard, for a moment I couldn’t breathe. ‘’How long you’ll be still here?’’, I asked almost whispering. ‘’One hour, and after that, my cousin will take me to the airport. I need to be there at 7.20, two hours before the flight begin.’’ I didn’t want to accept this. I hugged him, and felt him close, like I’ll never let him go. We kissed, for the first time. And then my emotions overflow and included everything. I was like a sphere, like some kind of wave going over and over, around the house, street, city, continent, whole planet, universe, universes, infinite. I was slowly regaining control over my body. It was real and in the same time it wasn’t. And he remained watching something beyond the horizon and watching me too. For a millisecond, or maybe even less, I was him and he was me. What experience! And frustration, to understand everything. ‘’How could you? How could you not tell me? Us, we are somehow, the same!’’.
Tears run down on her cheek. She saw me as I am, and I felt the same thing. If she could, I don’t know what she would do to me. But, exactly like her choice, I didn’t want to tell my secret to anyone. Until now. ‘’How is your ability?’’ she asked me after she calmed down a bit. ‘’Think to a name.’’ I tell her.
‘’Alex!’’ he said my thought loudly. ‘’A cake?’’. I’m thinking and I can hear him saying ‘’Baclava!’’. This must be too easy, we know each other for long time, maybe is time to try something more difficult. ‘’Something more difficult than!’’ he’s laughing, a moment after to whisper in my ear ‘’ On revient toujours au ses premiers amours!’’*. ‘’How are you doing this?’’. ‘’I didn’t understand yet, but seems that I can mirror the others thoughts and feelings. No wonder he was overwhelmed by my little explosion of happiness.
One day I couldn’t hear any thoughts, I couldn’t feel anyone. I knew that something like this happen to her too, that her power suddenly disappeared completely. At that time I didn’t know how to read the signs that appeared on my Path. I was coming back home, when I’ve seen her waiting for me in the front of my house. ‘’I told you I’ll find you!’’ I heard. And…
‘’ ’I told you I’ll find you!’’ I told him, like as long time ago and…
…and in that moment the everyday world, the houses, the people around me, the sky, America, everything faded away, leaving only that amazing feeling of immersion and completely identification with the other one, of One, without the Two, the complete lack of individuality, of…
…happiness, I could say. I was feeling loved, adored, appreciated, I was feeling like an ancient deity, a goddess that just stopped for a moment in one of the many worlds that belong to her.’’
We didn’t tell anyone about this until now but, hearing that you don’t believe anymore that you can find real love in this world and time, we talked between us and decided to share with you our story. The conclusions, you need to reach there by yourself.
* On revient toujours at ses premiers amours — French — We always come back to our first love.